Washington Square Review

Jay Deshpande



like you I wasn’t born yesterday
with the clay in my mouth   and the draft
in the front rooms    of the house
and humoring   the brilliant being   inside of me
there’s plenty of reasons   we arrive   in the dark


today I went to the cathedral   its cities
growing out of its walls   I saw
a strange conveyor   a cart on a chain
lowered through a hole in the ceiling   me

I’ve got the lattice   on the lattice
on God   winter sputters   is this how
a body waits for faith   with a fist
a light punched through


First you wanted something; then you wanted something else. The third thing you wanted waited for you just around a corner. You didn’t have that corner and so you wanted it. You wanted to want something and then you wanted nothing. Wanting nothing, you became the want. You wanted to want what you didn’t have, and you didn’t have anything. Anything you wanted would be put before you on a darker dish, but before that happened you had to want it to. Most people know to want something but the something slips away. The something is usually okay with this. Living with want is hard, it’s like wanting to live when you don’t. Want wants another to want you, wants another you in the hammock, in the bed, against the wall, on the table. Wanting will want for nothing, and wanting enough is never enough. When you have wanted for long enough, the want will increase and decrease at will. At any given moment your wants will be equal to your wants. You will look up and all around you things say, You want this. And right.