torrin a. greathouse

An Ugly Poem

Once, I searched for softness / on my tongue, ground my
father’s anger / sourmash cavities from my teeth I just
wanted to talk / pretty enough to be mistaken
for what I was / Hot flush of girlish blood / I edited all
my ugly out / made a perfect poem of my soft & lacquered mouth
/ Now, I’m looking for the ugly of my tongue lolling serpent /
curled in the slick of my jaw / searching
for its own teeth / I’m a noisy bitch / All bark / snap / growl
My voice still heavy with boy-ghost / Cottonmouth & gun
-powder / My Eve’s apple the flint / to my blunderbuss throat /
I’m all buckteeth & ulcer / enamel a stained-glass of nicotine &
lipgloss / The brokeback Madonna / arms tucked around all the
empty / air I could imagine a child Wombless Mary / Patron saint
of the ingrown hair
the bedsore & three-day eyeliner revival / I rise / a slutty messiah /
from the six-day depression sweat & the good fuck that ends it / I’m a
one-girl armageddon / Nails—cracked Polish—chipped /
Walk—crooked / Call me Freakish
-de-Milo / my body too a crumbling goddess / unlimbed
stone-cold / This body: holy-trickster / Sacred punchline
Sometimes, a strange man calls me / BITCH when I will
not shift for the “big-dick” of his stride / & this is a conjuring a spell / a
blessing / Sometimes, this is the most woman I feel all day.